“I’m alone. Oh my God.” Those were my initial thoughts of panic as I hugged April and her cab pulled away toward the airport. Toward home.
I had been feeling a knot in my stomach since this morning. I didn’t really notice it or think about it until the time for her departure drew nearer. I feel nervous. For the first time on my trip, I am alone. First I had had my sister and then April to rely on — to make decisions with, figure things out with, to talk to! But now I have only myself. What if I’m not cut out for this?
This feeling of aloneness, of being a stranger in a strange land, is daunting. At home I’m alone all the time. But this feels different – like I am only now finally untethered to the life I left behind, to the people I know and who know me.
I knew this moment was coming. Traveling solo is something I never thought I could do, yet here I am. I can do this, right?
The good news is that I’m staying a few more days in Barcelona with an aunt. I’ll have some time to explore by myself and at least have a friendly face to go ‘home’ to. And a few days later I’ll meet up with another friend in France before I’m really and truly by myself for 2 weeks. So I’ll treat this as a dry run. I am thankful to be easing into it.
My sister likes to quote to me from the movie The Help…”You is smart. You is kind. You is important.”
I am, gosh darn it. I can do this.