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We are living in a season of ‘wait and see’…how this global pandemic comes to an end; whether social unrest will actually lead to racial justice; who will win an election (God help us all); if a job will come through. Unfortunately, we just have to wait and see what happens.
That’s a lot to deal with mentally and emotionally, or at least it should be if you have eyes, ears, and a beating heart. Honestly, it has been tough for me to process it all at the same time.
We like to sugarcoat and curate our lives and feelings on public platforms — everything is great! everything will turn out ok! This is not that post.
As much as I like sharing when I am feeling optimistic, it would be disingenuous to not also tell you when the discouragement is real. And four months in, it’s very real.
For me, I feel the ‘wait and see’ stress of job-searching most acutely. The rollercoaster highs of hearing from recruiters, finding great job prospects, and rocking an interview are met with the lows of radio silence, holding patterns, and offers falling through at the last minute. On and on it goes.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it all, which leads to paralysis. I wish I could hibernate like a bear for the hard, cold, dark times and only wake up when the earth is ready to come alive again.
Waiting and seeing what happens sucks. But here we are. Let’s allow ourselves to feel the lows of this season — the disappointment, frustration, anxiety, impatience — because they are our natural, human emotions.
Life is painful sometimes and showing your vulnerable side makes you more human, more relatable.
I’d rather show you that side so you know you’re not alone. Everyone’s life is scary and messed up in some way, as much as we try to hide it.
If the movie Inside Out taught us anything, it’s that it is ok to feel all our feelings. These are not normal times we’re going through. We have all lost something in the last four months and are grieving ‘life as we know it’.
There is a balance and harmony to life’s highs and lows. I’m gonna let myself feel the low for now. It will pass. I know that tomorrow is another day. It could be good, bad, or more of the same. I have to wait and see.
Lead photo by Matt Bowden on Unsplash; Bear graphic: Photo by Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash, Designed by me; Sadness gif from Disney’s Inside Out; Quote graphic: Photo by Alejo Storni on Unsplash, Designed by me.
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Estefania, I enjoyed your post and the piece you wrote for Busted Halo on Matthew 9:13. Thank you for sharing your truth.
P.S. My paternal grandmother was named Estefania too and I totally agree on the oxford comma; I will never stop using it!
¡que Dios te bendiga!
thank you so much, Laura!
“Aunque camine por valle oscuro, no temere, porque Tu vas conmigo.” We are meant to WALK through the valley, not stay in it. Love you!
Like I said, it will pass. As all things do 🙂