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“I’m alone. Oh my God.” Those were my initial thoughts of panic as I hugged April and her cab pulled away toward the airport. Toward home.
I had been feeling a knot in my stomach since this morning. I didn’t really notice it or think about it until the time for her departure drew nearer. I feel nervous. For the first time on my trip, I am alone. First I had had my sister and then April to rely on — to make decisions with, figure things out with, to talk to! But now I have only myself. What if I’m not cut out for this?
This feeling of aloneness, of being a stranger in a strange land, is daunting. At home I’m alone all the time. But this feels different – like I am only now finally untethered to the life I left behind, to the people I know and who know me.
I knew this moment was coming. Traveling solo is something I never thought I could do, yet here I am. I can do this, right?
The good news is that I’m staying a few more days in Barcelona with an aunt. I’ll have some time to explore by myself and at least have a friendly face to go ‘home’ to. And a few days later I’ll meet up with another friend in France before I’m really and truly by myself for 2 weeks. So I’ll treat this as a dry run. I am thankful to be easing into it.
My sister likes to quote to me from the movie The Help…”You is smart. You is kind. You is important.”
I am, gosh darn it. I can do this.
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You can do anything. You are strong and beautiful and being alone will only highlight all of that. I’m so excited for you!
You are not alone!! The whole world is with you and behind you!! Let yourself be alone. Let yourself wander and do the little things. Sometimes it’s freeing and make friends, even if it’s just the same person you say good morning to. Or just start up conversations with people. Ask them about there lives, you won’t regret it.