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Ten years ago today, I packed up as many of my belongings as I could into my trusty Toyota Corolla and headed south to move to Miami. It was not only the start of a new chapter in my life, but one of the most life-changing. I could feel it.
The year 2010 was not great for me. After moving back to Florida from grad school in New York, everything fell apart. I got a job in Sarasota that fit into my career goals but ended up being a total bust. Around the same time I was realizing that job wasn’t going to work out, I was also realizing that the relationship I was in wasn’t going to work out. A double whammy. So I moved back to my parent’s house — with crushed dreams and a broken heart.
Yep, I was like a little wounded bird. I couldn’t emotionally handle more rejection so it took months before I even felt ready to spread my wings again. Then in spring 2011, I started putting feelers out and in the span of a few weeks I went from finding the online listing of a dream job to moving and starting that job.
So much about life is discerning when is the right time to act. Had I started a job search immediately when I was sad and unhappy, I may have taken something out of desperation. I may have spiraled further into depression. But I listened to my heart and stayed put. And then I listened again when it felt right to start looking and lo and behold that dream job was posted.
And I listened again when just shy of six years later, I decided to leave that job and travel for a while, with no plans for what would come after. I knew it was time to go.
If you had told 2011 me that 2017 me would do that, I don’t think she would’ve believed you. I think her initial gut reaction would’ve been, “Wait…so I’m not married yet?!” It makes 2021 me laugh. I think 2011 me would’ve been scared at the thought of traveling like that alone, but awed at the same time that she had the guts to do it.
And 2017 me would be very relieved to know that it all worked out when she came back from her adventures. That she was in fact good at what she did and others would want to hire her. She would be surprised that 2021 me was trying to build a freelance writing business, but pleased that she hadn’t given up on the dreams that were born out of that period of freedom.
My 2021 self is definitely not my 2011 self, yet she is the exact same person. The core — her values, who she is, what she believes — has remained. But she is wiser and braver and more confident (sometimes). I shifted, matured, and grew.
I’ve witnessed marriages, kids being born and growing up; divorces, miscarriages, and deaths. I’ve seen the ebb and flow of all my relationships. But it’s also the little, every day things that slowly, inexorably change you. You are like a rock formation that is molded by the wind and rain and sunshine. You’ve been through some stuff, but you’re still a rock, just a new shape.
Of course I’ve made mistakes and bad decisions that make me either cringe or roll my eyes at myself. But hey, that’s how I learned my lessons. The alchemy of life allows you to change while staying true to who you are. What a shame it would be if after experiencing 10 years of life I came out the exact same person as I was going in.
The scary thing is how fast it has gone by. I know mathematically 2011 was 10 years ago, but it seems impossible that that much time has passed. Didn’t I just get here? All the years bleed together and each year seems to pass quicker than the last. Will I blink and another 10 years has gone by? Time flies regardless of whether you’re having fun.
How will 2031 me be different? How will life shape her? I hope that she takes the time to reflect on everything that brought her to that point. I hope that she can look back and feel proud, surprise herself and laugh at herself. I hope she believes that she is exactly where she is meant to be because she always listened to her heart.
Whatever may happen to her, I hope she remains that same hopeful, grounded young woman who arrived to Miami 10 years ago today.
Lead photo by David Ballew on Unsplash. All other photos and graphics by me.